We all have an intellectual brain and an emotional brain. They interact with each other. Both influence how we think and live our lives. Sometimes they can get in each other’s way. Is your intellectual brain stumbling over your emotional brain in your love life? Are you aware that your neurons are generating energy patterns that influence how you see the world and express yourself in a relationship? When you read this book you may discover how your rationally thinking mind is always attempting to find a reason for your emotional brain driven love needs and desires. You will begin to understand your hungry heart’s craving. You will decipher the sometimes pleasant and sometimes unwelcome aspects of the mysterious expressions that can spontaneously and unexpectedly surge from deep within you.
The author shares his fifty-years of experience with these matters of love as he describes his approaches to unraveling the excitement and pain sitting deep in our struggling minds. He shares his patients’ and students’ many intriguing stories of love, offering his insights into how to let go of our painful experiences of the past. He provides us techniques to move forward and live in the present. After reading this book you will be able to refine your personal perspective on your own unique matters of love. Your needs, conflicts and anxieties that are getting in your way will begin to recede as you pursue your quest to discover that emotional loving closeness and connection that your heart is yearning for.
MATTERS OF LOVE FRONT BOOK COVER BY DR. JOHN TWOMEY
Are you aware that your neurons are generating energy patterns that influence how you see the world and how you express yourself in a relationship? When you read this book you will learn why you are awestruck when you see a beautiful face and find yourself longing for a happy state of enchantment, love and connection. You will become aware of how your rationally thinking mind is constantly attempting to find a reason for your emotional brain driven love searching desires. You will begin to understand your hungry heart’s craving. You will decipher the sometimes pleasant and sometimes unwelcome aspects of the emotional outpouring and expletives that can spontaneously and unexpectedly surge from deep within you.
This book is the result of five decades of counseling people from all walks of life. I have treated combat veterans from many wars as well as people simply seeking answers and solutions to the needs, conflicts and anxieties of their everyday lives. I have shared both the struggles that they have encountered while searching for love and their joys in finding and maintaining meaningful relationships. Over the years many of my students have asked me if there was something that they could read about the energy patterns that would surface during our interactions with the patients we were treating. There has been nothing written, however, that describes the pragmatic and collaborative approach that I use to unravel the complexities created by an intense desire for love, connection and completion.
I encourage my patients to explore these confusing, conflicting, and yet enticing, energy patterns being channeled from their emotional and reptilian brain structures as we explore their quest into matters of love. Why is it such a struggle for a person who really feels intense love for someone to express petty resentments to this person? What holds us back? Amazingly, when the painful, emotionally flooding trivial feeling is shared we make up. Love becomes stronger as the tension from this chaotic, dark energy field surfaces and releases. If you are searching for a relationship, you will gain some insight into why you can be initially attracted to somebody and later on down the road feel totally repulsed by the same person. Our minds reverberate with questions and challenges in our attempts to find the reasons why.
I share with you many of my patients’ and students’ intriguing stories of love. They are my teachers. Their own unique situations and solutions in these mysterious planes of love searching, and even love avoiding will have your hearts beating with excitement and wrenching with pain. I offer you insights and my techniques into how to let go of our painful experiences of the past and to move forward and live in the present.
First you will meet Frankie and Molly. The story of their unexpected meeting and healing relationship shows us the complicated excitement and pain of maintaining a loving and caring commitment. Corrine, June, Cameron and Claude are Iraqi war veterans. You will read about their heartbreaking struggles with war trauma and relationship complexities. I even share with you some of my own love searching adventures and the many professional training experiences that influenced my understanding of and perspective on love related issues and solutions.
As we proceed you will begin to see that we are often struggling to express our deep emotional feelings and sensations. In fact, we are often only using metaphors, or sometimes even resort to cursing, to express ourselves in our relationships. Gradually you will become aware of how limited our rational brain functioning can be in matters of love. After all, Plato said love is a madness. I say love is also mysterious.
After reading this book you will be able to refine and rethink your own personal perspective on your unique matters of love. The needs, conflicts and anxieties that are getting in your way may begin to recede as you pursue your quest to find that emotional loving closeness and connection that your heart is yearning for.
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Dr. John Twomey is a graduate of Boston University and a board-certified clinical psychologist, (ABPP). He is a fellow of the American Academy of Clinical Psychology and the recipient of the Distinguished Service Award from the American Board of Professional Psychology. He is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine and on the senior faculty in the School of Psychology and Counseling at Cambridge College.
John was a psychologist for four decades at the Veterans Outpatient Clinic in Boston. Throughout his career his passion has been focused on sharing with medical and mental health students his expertise on recovering from trauma and healing broken hearts. The focus of this therapy is to activate the patient’s restorative healing energy patterns so that a meaningful quality of life and satisfying emotional relationships can emerge.
John has a background in all major approaches to psychology beginning with his undergraduate studies in cognitive psychology. He trained in the then infant field of neuropsychology when he was a corpsman with the United States Navy. In graduate school he conducted research on the Body-Mind connection, writing his doctoral dissertation on the Personality Patterns of Patients with Coronary Heart Disease. While serving on the faculty at Southern Illinois University he did advanced training with experts in the field of behavior therapy and group psychology.
Dr. Twomey spent nine years in extensive training in psychodynamic depth psychology and psychiatry with Dr. John Murray, the co- founder of the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute. The renowned pioneer group therapist and psychologist Dr. John Arsenian was his mentor and coach for more than two decades. For several years he has trained with various masters in inner psychic scientific approaches to therapeutic healing techniques.
John is an avid baseball fan and was a youth baseball coach for many years. He and his wife live in suburban Boston and have four grown children and five grandchildren.